Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Bacon Ice Cream Theorem

1. Bacon = good; Ice Cream = good, therefore Bacon Ice Cream (otherwise stated as Bacon*Ice Cream) = good^2.
2. truth = good, true = truth, TRUE = 1, therefore good = 1.
3. Lies = bad, lies = false, FALSE = 0, therefor bad = 0. This reinforces the idea that good = 1.
4. 1 squared = 1, Bacon = good, good = 1, so Bacon = 1, same for Ice Cream, there for Bacon Ice Cream = 1.
5. 1 = good, therefore Bacon Ice Cream = good.

Got another way to prove this? Post it at http://s15.invisionfree.com/Dark_Lord_Conclave.

1 Comments:

Blogger Camry said...

Camry here. I will prove that bacon ice cream is good by exemplifying why other ice cream is bad. ( The other ice cream flavors are real, I swear.) Any non-sequiturs here? Certainly. Something like a strategy widely used in advertising? Indubitably.

So observe as BACON ICE CREAM EMERGES TRIUMPHANT OVER…

CHUNKY MONKEY ICE CREAM
Sure, Wiry Monkey Ice Cream sounds even more repulsive, but do we, as upstanding yet compassionate American citizens, want to be treating any of our simian friends in such a shoddy manner? Be patriotic – eat bacon ice cream.

CHERRY GARCIA ICE CREAM
Calling all hippies – it’s over, people. The sixties eventually produced the yuppies. Step away from the lava lamp and lay The Grateful Dead album in its final resting place. Now release the capitalist in your heart of hearts and get out there and buy some luscious and decadent bacon ice cream.

ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM
Um – rocks? Road? What next – Skid Marks Ripple? This entire concept is highly insulting to our brethren road construction union workers. Honestly, what could be more unifying than fresh-from-the-farm bacon? Nothing! And what could be more wholesome than ice cream? Nothing! Combine them and you too can enjoy the cold, sweet, meaty treat that brings people together. Viva la bacon ice cream!

8:11 PM  

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