Thursday, April 27, 2006

Hotel Review: Holiday Inn Select

By Edgy Swordbearer

Rating: 3 stars (out of 5)
Location: Undisclosed
Cost: Really freaking expensive without a discount

Let me just say this up front: if you aren't getting a discount off your room price, then this hotel isn't worth the money for a casual trip. With the price tag and mentality, you'd think they were trying to take over the world.

The king-size single bedroom, which I stayed in, features free wi-fi internet, but requires an actual web browser, making it impossible to connect with a Nintendo DS or portable remote hacking system. They also had the standard essential bits, such as a bed (which was a bit hard for my personal taste, but one that others may like), cabinets, tables, lamps, cable TV, and the like. The bathroom had an excellent massage head (good for loosening up after brutalizing the masses, and excellent water pressure and temperature. My only complaint about the bathroom is the fact that the "fogless" mirror fogged up on me. Liars.

The hotel also featured a swimming pool, spa, basketball court, and "game room," none of which I utilized. The swimming pool was occupied most of the time, and the "game room" consisted of three arcade cabinets, all of which were very old. The newest one they had was Hydro Thunder. I didn't even know there was a Popeye arcade game.

Past the pool, I believe everything cost extra money. The breakfast buffet was $11 per person because it "didn't come with my room." I didn't bother to ask if I could use their underground lair, because they would have charged me for that too. As would Starbucks. Never asked them either.

Overall, I had a nice stay, but for the price, a Dark Lord deserves better.

Excuse me while I go start a hotel chain.

Travel safe,